Seizure.

Today- happy girl again.

Madeline suffered through a Febrile Seizure yesterday while she was at school (She goes to early preschool 2x per week). She had just waken from naptime, was at the table reading books when she got up and laid down on the floor and the teachers say that's when it happened. Evidently this type of seizure is quite common among children and it is brought on by a sudden rise in temperature/fever. Receiving that phone call, and being told your daughter has had a seizure and the ambulance is on it's way...heartbreaking. I may have stopped breathing for a few minutes myself. Fortunately Lucy had just been fed and changed and so I was able to race out the door quickly- we arrived at the same time the ambulance arrived. I ran to her classroom to find her surrounded by staff and police officers- lying on the floor with a towel under her head, unconscious. I quickly left the room to try to gain some composure, which wasn't going to be easy. The compassion the staff had for her was visible in their tears, which of course made it harder for me to hold it together. I had to pull it together and went in to her, laid on the floor next to her. She came to- I put my hands on her. She was so hot, and so blue. The paramedics told me that the way she was acting; tired and generally out of it, was very normal. NORMAL? No part of this was normal as far as I was concerned. Because of the length of the seizure, 1 minute 20 seconds, they wanted to take her to ER for further tests. More scary. Lucy- I have Lucy! What am I supposed to do with Lucy? Can I take her in the ambulance? No. John, their daddy...he's on his way but he's not here yet. The great people at Primrose accepted Lucy into the baby room until her dad could pick her up and bring her to the ER to meet us. Madeline, in the meantime, was in the ambulance. This is the first time I've been in an ambulance and I pray the last. The ride is a blur. John tells me that I must have texted several times reminding his to get Lucy. Entry into the ER is a blur. Lots of questions from lots of people. But the only information I had was that for the first time in her life she was being treated for an ear infection. Blood draw, urine draw, swabs for strep, influenza, chest xrays....when was this going to end? Madeline would cry, then fall asleep, cry, then fall asleep. Finally after all that, the doctor says she believes the ear infection never cleared and the infection caused the fever and that in all likelihood this would never happen again.

We picked up an orange popscicle and headed for home.

Last night I couldn't get the image of her lying on the floor, her coloring, her cry....I can't get it out of my head! Argh. What if I would have known she had a fever that morning, what if I had let her sleep in that morning rather than waking her for school? What if I would have kept her home? So many what if's......could I have prevented this, is this my fault? I'm sad.

Today her fever has been up and down, seems to be controlled by alternating Motrin and Tylenol. She's been spoiled with bedtime and naptime in mommy's bed.....a mistake we will no doubt pay for later when it's time to go back to bed in her bed!